One of my favourite phrases, which anyone who knows me will understand. It’s the childish way of saying “I’m done” out of frustration. Today, I don’t want to play ‘trainee writer’ anymore, and by that I mean, after enough failed attempts at forcing myself to do the 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge, I’ve decided not to continue. It wasn’t enjoyable to me and every time I logged onto my blog I was very aware that I hadn’t done a single one in months. Now before everyone panics and thinks, “Oh no, if she doesn’t find that enjoyable she must not be a writer,” that is not the case.
What I don’t enjoy are forced prompts that I have no interest in or care for the outcome. Some I found intriguing and perhaps in time I could have written those, but others I just found boring or had no idea where to start. Even in my job as a wedding writer, I find articles to write on a daily basis. Sandpweddings.ie is updated with new daily and I have to constantly brainstorm new ideas for the months ahead and then write several. Some are more interesting than others and come easily to me, others I find myself moving down the list as I procrastinate with more interesting ones. That doesn’t mean what I’m putting off isn’t interesting, it just means, for whatever reason, it has cast a cloud and is now looming because I’ve put it off for too long. It has become something I dread, even though it’s really not that difficult to write. There’s just something about not knowing where to start that can make it difficult. I suffer badly from Blank Page Syndrome so that’s always been a struggle whether it’s an article, a short story, an assignment or a book.
But the main reason I’ve decided to throw in the towel on the creative writing challenge and more importantly that it’s okay to throw in the towel, is because I’ve decided to take a running jump off the cliff and write that book that I’ve been going on about for an amount of time I do not wish to disclose. I don’t like telling people that I’m actually starting for fear it’ll prompt questions about what it’s about and how is it coming along, and I prefer to do things under cover of darkness and shadow until I can be sure I’ve come out with something good. However, I’m shedding light on my actions this time because I believe if the friends and perfect strangers that follow my blog know about the book (along with my fears) it’ll put just the right amount of pressure on me to actually commit to my plan.
So there you have it. I’ve decided to abandon the creative writing challenge in favour of something I really care about writing. I will continue to update this blog as promised, with other ramblings, rants and random observations of my life and if I feel like it, I’ll include the odd update on my progress, though I can assure you, it will definitely be vague. And now for one of my favourite “quittings”. Just replace ‘Alaska Cannabis Club’ with ‘my book’ and replace her reporting job with the Creative Writing Challenge.